Posts

Break-up: The Ghosting Way?

Image
  You might be wondering that in this month of love, February, why am I writing about ‘break-up’?   Let’s go by evidence—in a 2012 research paper by Collins, they analysed different break-up tactics. One major one is— avoidance , in which A reduces being in touch with B, in present and future—besides others, like confrontation or self-blame as ways of moving away. So, when a person avoids another by withdrawing to communicate in any way, it is called ghosting —like disappearing into thin air. Such behaviour isn’t new, and can be seen in romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional relationships. People are all there one moment, and just go missing, the next! Scary? The question arises that who might be a ghost in this case? And why do people leave others in a lurch? Anyone with avoidant attachment style, with its roots in childhood, often ditches others as they shirk from emotional closeness . Second, if one has been ghosted by other, they would in turn do the sam
1 comment
Read more

Anxiety: Prevention is better than Cure

Image
  As the Mentally Healthy University Ambassador for ‘ Mind ’, a 75-year-old charity in England, I have learned a lot about mental health problems and solutions, from their interactive workshops .   Have you wondered, when does anxiety get converted into a mental health problem? It may happen when an individual fears or worries disproportionately in any situation, the discomforting feeling is quite strong and persistent, it is distressing and hard to control, and may even escalate to panic attacks. This amounts to a roadblock in the happy journey of life.   It may come as a surprise to you that not only adults, but also kids are prone to anxiety. During childhood, a staggering 67% of children are worried, due to a variety of reasons which makes them emotionally vulnerable to threat, leading to anxiety. When they are disturbed disproportionately, and the intensity of their fears disrupts their routine functioning, the condition gets transformed to anxiety disorders . The causes coul
1 comment
Read more

Giving or Getting: The Season’s Suggestion

Image
Come Christmas, and how do our preparations begin? List of gifts, tree decorations and X’mas movies, family time and bonding efforts. Think Sankranti in January, and again distributing til ke laddoo (sesame seeds sweets), warm blankets, and alms to the poor begins. So, whether in West or East, the emphasis is on helping others in different seasons, occasions, or festivals. Have you wondered why? Psychologically, when we are concerned about others’ rights, feelings, and welfare, we exhibit pro-social behaviour. Have you ever raised your hand in class to join a new project? That is proactive behaviour, generally for own benefit of an individual. When someone gave you a shoulder to lean on, in turn, you co-operated with them in response—this is reactive behaviour. But whenever you shared your things or time with others without having any expectation in return , you exhibit altruistic behaviour, like donating fruits or food to the poor, or paying for the beggar’s tea and toast on a col
4 comments
Read more

The Truth of Lying

Image
  Have you noticed that while conversing, some of the people blink more than usual, or fidget unnecessarily, avoid making eye contact, touch their neck, tug the ear, or their vocal pitch changes? Were you able to deduce anything from such behaviour and body language? Generally, these are signs which indicate that a person is lying. Did it ever occur to you: does everyone lie? Why do people need to lie? Is lying difficult or easy? Are liars dishonest? Do people lie more to strangers or to loved ones? Do you think, ‘to lie is human’, is true? Lying is definitely a form of  deceiving others, verbally . The frequency of lying is normally 25% in day-to-day interactions—as per research.  This human social behaviour usually develops to avoid problems, evade responsibilities, or when one feels threatened or ashamed. Thus, to find a way out of such uncomfortable situations, a person tells lies. For example, when one is asked by the superior about the work progress to meet a deadline, he m
3 comments
Read more

The Ship that Shouldn’t Sink

Image
One of my friends from the University recently got married in Dubai a few days back. It made me think: How do you imagine your future family to be like, if you are a young adult? Do you dream of spending quality time with a happy loving family comprising parents, spouse, and kid(s)? If you have already initiated your family of pro-creation, do you wish for more freedom and breathing space from your near and dear ones? In case you are a senior citizen, would you want to make amendments in your decision related to marriage partner or marriageable age if time machine is for real, and gives you a chance to go back? Contrarily, are you at the other end of the continuum and think that marriage is an outdated institution, and you would be better off with a couple of loyal and selfless cats and dogs instead? Do you reason out that marriage is only good enough for financial gains or conveniences? Do you ponder if Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Model could be revamped to exclude ‘love/ belongingnes
4 comments
Read more

Hidden Behind the Mask

Image
  Am I good enough? Will I be able to handle this responsibility? Do I actually possess the skill to do justice to the project? Won’t I chicken out from the speech like last time? These are some of the questions that celebrities like Emma Watson, Ryan, Lady Gaga, Tom Hanks, Cara, Padma Lakshmi, Serena Williams jostled with—knowingly or unknowingly. They were hiding behind the mask and didn't feel like themselves at some point. Have you gone through the same feeling ever? Why? How? Let’s delve deeper. When we think negatively about our own selves, we express that negativity in our actions and it gets directed from self to others, if unchecked. Eventually, it leads to strained relations and self-doubt which easily ruins one’s self-esteem. Now, I am not saying self-doubt is bad all the time, but it is healthy until it is limited to introspection for personal improvement. But self-doubt turns harmful when a person is extremely critical of things that they do. When one uses phrases
4 comments
Read more

The Dark Side of Foods

Image
  Did you know ‘arachibutyrophobia’ (try pronouncing arachi-beauti-row-phobia ) is the fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of one’s mouth? I bet you didn’t hear about it earlier. But imagine how would it feel if a person had nightmares of eating peanut butter? Quite scary, frankly. Also, nutmeg is a natural hallucinogen—if taken in large quantities, it can make one hallucinate (sense something, without its presence). Then again, artificially sweetened drinks if consumed daily may lead to dementia. Believe it or not, but the chocolate was used as a currency in ancient Mexican and American civilizations, though I wouldn’t trade it for anything. What does it all boil down to? Enough of facts.    On a more analytical  note , one fact that I personally find interesting is that  people with psychopathic tendencies find pleasure in eating bitter foods!  Does it ring any warning bells? Imagine, I devoted a whole chapter in   ‘ My Mind on a Couch ’   (my  book  published in 201 8) 
2 comments
Read more