Hidden Behind the Mask

 

Am I good enough? Will I be able to handle this responsibility? Do I actually possess the skill to do justice to the project? Won’t I chicken out from the speech like last time? These are some of the questions that celebrities like Emma Watson, Ryan, Lady Gaga, Tom Hanks, Cara, Padma Lakshmi, Serena Williams jostled with—knowingly or unknowingly. They were hiding behind the mask and didn't feel like themselves at some point. Have you gone through the same feeling ever? Why? How? Let’s delve deeper.

When we think negatively about our own selves, we express that negativity in our actions and it gets directed from self to others, if unchecked. Eventually, it leads to strained relations and self-doubt which easily ruins one’s self-esteem. Now, I am not saying self-doubt is bad all the time, but it is healthy until it is limited to introspection for personal improvement. But self-doubt turns harmful when a person is extremely critical of things that they do. When one uses phrases like “I can’t” it becomes a Self-fulfilling Prophecy,  or when they emphasize  “I shouldn’t” it indicates Imposter Syndrome, or when they think “I am terrible” it shows Lack of Self-kindness, and when they dwell in the failures or guilt of the past and keep thinking of reasons “I didn’t” they are Self-sabotaging. Through all such thought processes, they keep on increasing negativity—has negativity ever resulted in positive outcomes? Hardly.

One of the highest levels of self-doubt gets generated when one constantly thinks “I shouldn’t”, which implies they are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome. What is it? It is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments and are in constant fear of being exposed as a fraud”.  So how does one identify whether they are impacted by it? The common signs to look out for are extreme lack of self-confidence which often shows in the body language and stuttered communication, a feeling of inadequacy exhibited by the person, their constant comparison with others and feeling like a loser which results in inferiority complex and anxiety, to the extent that they distrust their own intuition and capabilities and indulge in too much negative self-talk, remain in the past and develop irrational fears of the future.

Turning to the categorization of imposters, psychologically, they may be titled as firstly, the Perfectionist who are high performers and hence refrain from delegating since they fear that without their intervention the result won’t be as expected. Secondly, the Expert feels that they have somehow reached a position which they actually don’t deserve, and feel miserable thinking of the consequences when the bubble will burst. Thirdly, the Soloist feels that they are the only ones who are holding up their organization and do not need help from others. Fourthly, the Superman or Superwoman are the ones who feel the need to continuously prove themselves by trying harder. And finally, the Natural Genius are those who are genetically talented but find it difficult to face challenges. So, do you ever feel like an imposter? Then, where do you classify yourself? The problem is that those affected by this syndrome further suffer from depression, anxiety, reduced self-confidence—especially women than men.

The question arises that how can it be overcome, once identified? If one searches for proof that shows that you are doing a wonderful job, then why be doubtful? Look at the evidence and pat your back—it will help build self-confidence. Then, enjoy the results of the game well played or having received compliments for the accomplishments, by celebrating the victory—big or small. Next, do accept that since most people have some or the other secret tucked away, many may be feeling like an imposter—70% people feel like fakes as per research in the 1980s. Moreover, feeling like one may keep you motivated to sweat more till you attain great heights—so it may be good for you to an extent. Haven’t you heard—fake it till you make it—although I wouldn’t recommend it since pretence has its own disadvantages. I remember reading in a book by a renowned author that if you want to make it big in life, start behaving so even if you can’t afford it, which will land one in a debt trap I feel. So tread with caution.

Sometimes, hidden in our unconscious and subconscious mind are the deepest fears of being incompetent. But from such dark crevices emerges the self-awareness about our strengths and brilliance.  Hence, let us remove that mask of self-doubt and be more self-confident as we all have our own unique potential.

- Rajavee Arora